Another poem that I wrote in the midst of all my pain in depression. When I look back at these I realise how dark things got and feel completely blessed and grateful for all the people that helped me get out of that space.
“Never a tear has wet my face, yet everyday I cry
So caught up in all the pain that everyday I die
See me as I pass you like a ghost into the night
Hating myself everyday for these demons that I fight
Everyday I try to be, exactly what you wanted
Yet everyday I find myself by the darkness taunted
Don’t you see, don’t you hear, can’t you understand
This bitterness, this rage in me, I can barely stand
I hate my life, I hate my mind, I hate what I’ve become
A torn and twisted broken soul that lies to everyone”
– written 22 March 2010
I still go there sometimes but the bouts are briefer and not as dark. There is hope and I want people to see that. Depression and Bipolar are not death sentences and we do not have to be held prisoner to them. Thank God that he saved me and stands by me when I struggle.