In just over a month I will be on a plane to England. Something I have dreamed about for over 10 years. So when did my dream of going to England become a goal and how did that happen? What did I do to finally make this dream a reality?
I’m not sure when or how this dream began but about 10 years ago I went and renewed my passport with the hope of traveling to England. At the time it was a distant dream, a hope, a fantasy. I had no funds to pay for it and no plans to get there but I wanted to make sure I was ready to travel if the opportunity came up. It was a passive dream, something I hoped someone else would make a reality.
I have wanted many things in life, had many dreams and I have achieved quite a few of my goals. Recently though, I realised that my dreams only become reality when I turn them into goals. When I become serious about wanting to achieve them and put plans into place. I realised that I could want something but not actually want it enough to do anything about it.
This was the England dream, I wanted to go but not enough to actually do anything about it. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice day to day things so I could save money. Not enough to make plans and put them into action. When thinking about it, this is exactly how so many of my dreams fizzle out and die. I don’t want them enough. Yes, I’ve had some struggles, yes, the time hasn’t always been right but unless something happened that made going to England more important than anything else I was never going to actually get there.
I think that the same applies to many things in life. We want and want but aren’t willing to put in the action. It definitely applies to my mental health. When I first got depressed, of course I didn’t want to feel that way but I also didn’t want to do anything about it. I fought telling anyone, I fought going to see a professional and I fought taking any medication. I walked around for years feeling depressed and suicidal. I hated life, I hated everything around me and I hated myself.
It took years before I eventually landed up in a psychiatric hospital and then a few more years before I finally took some action. Now 10 years later I see the results of all the action I have put in over and over. I see the results of healthy coping mechanisms that have become second nature. If you have been following my blog posts you will know that this has been a rough year for me concerning my mental health. I’ve had some really bad days and weeks, but days and weeks are nothing compared to the months and years I had in the past.
Not even 2 weeks ago I was so depressed I was suicidal. I had lost all hope and motivation to keep living. Previously this would have stayed for what felt like forever. Not this time though, not even 2 weeks later and I am feeling more balanced again. This is only because after years of action I continued to do the next right thing even when I didn’t want to. I often speak about my gratitude to God and others but I am also grateful to myself for never giving up and putting all the hard work in over the years.
When I first started struggling with mental illness I wanted to get better, I dreamed of a day where I would feel almost normal, but not enough for that dream to become a goal. It was a passive dream, I wanted someone else to achieve it for me. When it did change to a goal when I put in the action, the goal didn’t become reality overnight, it was many more years of hard work and never giving up (believe me, there were moments when I wanted to). Now more than 20 years later I still have a mental illness but now it’s mostly managed. The good days far outweigh the bad ones. I can’t tell you exactly what changed for me and when this dream of being better became more than a dream. I can’t tell you how or why I started wanting it enough to make sacrifices and I can’t tell you the exact plan of action I took to reach this point.
What I can tell you, from my experience, is that it happened. The fear of staying where I was stuck overrode the fear of doing something different, it overrode the fear of doing hard work and it overrode the fear of failure. I picked a course and stuck to it despite wanting to give up, despite the emotions that rose up and despite the pain I was feeling. I reached a point where I wanted to get better so much that my dream became a goal. You will have your own reasons for not wanting it right now and your own challenges to face but I wanted to say it’s worth it in the end.
The England dream became a goal when one of my longest and best friends told me he was getting married. Suddenly it wasn’t just about going to England it was about supporting my best friend on one of the most important days of his life. The dream became important enough that I made it a goal. I gave up coffees and dinners out. I gave up the nice things I didn’t need and I saved. I put time into planning and that dream is now a reality. The goal has finally been achieved.
What is the turning point for you to turn your dreams into goals, to let them become realities? Do you want it enough, are you willing to make the sacrifices and put in action, the hard work required? You will know when the time is right, and then you will succeed. Your dreams will become goals and eventually a reality. Good luck.
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