Being mindful

Sometimes I need to remind myself to stop and smell the flowers. Practicing mindfulness is and will remain an important part of my recovery.

Alone or Lonely

Sometimes I find myself sitting and wondering if I will ever find the right person for me. In the past nine years I have been single. For the first six of those I needed to be single to sort my own life out. I needed to learn to love myself so I could love others as well. It was tough and sometimes I wanted to give up but eventually I got used to being by myself. I got used to comforting myself and encouraging myself. I learnt to live with who I was and I learnt to love who I was.

But now, for the past three years I am ready to love someone again. Although I will have to learn to be unselfish with my time again, I want to have someone else around. Someone to cuddle and talk to, someone to be intimate with, someone who loves me despite myself. So where is this wondrous man that I am looking for? I don’t really know, but I do know that he is probably out there somewhere and I need to be patient. I also know that I need to get out there and meet people which is really hard for me. Meeting new people is scary but how else am I supposed to meet the person for me?

In all of this though I question my motives behind wanting a man in my life. Is it because I am lonely, scared of being alone or is it really about companionship. I have realised that I am not looking for someone because I need that person to define who I am or because I don’t feel worth enough by myself but simply because I was created to be in relationship. I look at my grandparents who are still very much in love and I want that when I am old, someone who I shared my life with. 

If you are single out there how do you feel? Do you long for someone, are you happy by yourself, does it not really matter to you. Let me know where you stand. Alone or Lonely? Proud to be single or longing for someone? Share your thoughts and opinions with me please. Do others feel the same as me or am I alone in this?